


Not Quite Götterdämmerung

by nagasvoice



Series: When Norse Gods Meddle [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Losers - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crack Crossover, F/M, M/M, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-20
Updated: 2015-01-20
Packaged: 2018-03-08 08:47:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3203072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nagasvoice/pseuds/nagasvoice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Well, not quite, but good enough for us mundanes... especially those of us who don't recall our Norse mythology in any huge amounts of detail when it counts.<br/>I mean, that's what the Internet is for, right?  Yeah?<br/>Except when the lights are out and the tornado horns are going...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Quite Götterdämmerung

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Aloneindarknes7](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aloneindarknes7/gifts).



> Aloneindarknes7 noted in her Dear Creator letter that she liked crossovers, which totally delighted me.  
> I wanted to create something completely new for her, but I struggled with this.  
> As I wanted to offer up the crackiest AU I have on tap, I decided this should be the next installation of a current series which is pretty darn cracked.
> 
>  
> 
> Number one chunk was "Cougar Shot Down a UFO," here:  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/804005/chapters/1516058
> 
> Number two chunk was "Lose the Avengers? Unlikely", here:  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/960393/chapters/1881674
> 
> For folks who don't have time to revisit those previous bits of the absurd, the situation to date:
> 
> The Losers have been unofficially volunteered to help out the Avengers, more as a way of rescuing them from the likes of General Ross, one of Steve Roger's nemesii. The timelines are different but the broad specialities of our team are the same. Also, Steve Rogers may be related to the Jensens in several possible ways. They are all currently staying at the rather small rural house rented by Jake Jensen's sister Jennifer. Besides all the Losers and Steve Rogers, other guests include Natasha, Clint Barton, and Cougar's sister, code-name Pantera. It also looks like Max has just flown in to the nearest airport.  
> What's the worst that could happen?

“The chickens keep fussing,” says Steve. Yes, Captain America is scrubbing dirt off his knuckles at Jennifer Jensen’s kitchen sink. You’d think he’d use the bathroom, as meticulous as he is about old-fashioned etiquette, but he keeps looking out the window. Craning his neck at either side. It’s not a very good window, the place is rented, and the improvements made by the Losers so far aren’t exactly realtor-friendly. More along the lines of _making things harder for people to approach the house ever again._

“You think somebody’s out there?” Jennifer puts a steaming cup of coffee on the counter near him.

Steve grimaces. “Not sure. Birds kept flying out of that grove of trees by the pig pen down there.”

“Oh yeah, the hickories. That’s what Cougar said those trees were.” Jennifer peers out the window too, and says, “Wow, you got the last of that big trench dug out?”

“Got enough light first thing this morning, and I couldn’t sleep,” Steve agrees. “That trench won’t stop one of the modern tanks SHIELD uses, but I’m pretty sure it’ll slow down the standard issues. Gotta say, you have really excellent farming soil here above the bedrock. Maybe we’ll get you some nice trees to tuck in there when we can refill the trench. Walnuts, maybe, things with deep taproots.”

Jennifer fidgets with the coffee pot. “Jake says Max’s convoy of Hummers stopped at some big ag company warehouse on the way, they haven’t moved for an hour. So maybe the birds are yelling about somebody else? Would Max have somebody else come in from a different angle?”

“Anybody’s guess there,” Steve says. He peers out the window again, frowning. He doesn’t look like Captain America when he’s worried. He looks like Jake, Jennifer’s dingbat brother. Or maybe an older and slightly less dingy brother. His face crinkles up in much the same lines as Jake’s when the hacker has been running risky projects and one of them has come back to bite everyone on the ass.

Of course it makes Jennifer want to hit him to make him tell her what’s going on.

She doesn’t. It’d be embarrassing if he just looked at her with those big reproachful blue eyes.

Steve can just look at you with that sorrowful gaze and make you feel like an utter fool.

Jake calls it his “crying baby Jesus gaze.”

Jake’s got a goofier version of it, so he ought to know.

It works too, dammit.

“Ahh, that’s why the birds were upset,” Steve says.

Jennifer peers out next to him. “Those are the biggest… what are they? blackbirds? Bigger than any I’ve ever seen.”

“They aren’t blackbirds--” Steve gets out.

The whooshing noise is not particularly loud, as gigantic unstable vortexes of air go. A little neater, tidier, than Jennifer has seen when tornados have visited these parts before. Also, it evaporates in a wisp of fog almost immediately, leaving behind a really big guy with a dark face and a huge freakin’ headdress and a giant...thingie of a tool. It’d have to be smaller to be a pike.

“Oooooohkay,” Jennifer says, “Why is Roque’s daddy wearing a gold suit and horns?”

“I have no idea if he’s Roque’s daddy,” Steve says, “but it’s usually a bad sign when Heimdall shows up in person. Also, the birds. You know who the birds are?”

The birds flap up and settle on Heimdall’s shoulders.

“No,” Jennifer says.

“Hugin and Mugin,” Steve says.

“They have names?” Jennifer says.

“Yeah,” Steve says, not moving.

“So what now? Is Thor or Loki or somebody else gonna show up? Wait, you guys met both of them, right?”

There’s a guttural snort behind behind them, and Clay opens the kitchen door, while Jennifer stares at him in horror. He looks out, nods, and says to Jennifer, “Thor is one of the Avengers, darlin’, and those guys out there are from Thor’s old stomping grounds.”

Steve turns. “Those storm cells could be Thor all by himself if he’s fighting somebody his own size.”

“Yep,” Clay says, and shrugs, buttoning up his faded old plaid shirt. “Hey, somebody has to go make nice.” Then he grins, and shrugs into his worn old jacket, and goes out to greet the Norse God in the back yard.

A moment later, Roque stomps past, heads out the same door, likewise pulling on his jacket. He really does look a lot like the bigger guy in the gold suit.

“Erm… you’re not going out there too?” Jennifer asks.

Steve gives a tiny half-smile. “Heimdall knows I’m here. I’m sure he knows why I’m sticking with my primary responsibility. That’s you and your daughter.”

Jennifer stares up at Steve.

Steve says, gently, “I understand Ross and his science team also want the distaff side of the Super soldier genetics.”

Jennifer opens her mouth, hauls back her arm to sock somebody, anybody--

Steve adds, “I think Ross forgot that whole wartime project but somebody told Max about it, and _he_ swings by to remind Ross every time he’s likely to forget it again.”

“Max again,” Jennifer snarls.

“Yeah,” Steve says.

Jake comes rushing into the kitchen, mouth open. “You know what just happened--”

Steve gives a little shrug. “Heimdall showing up with Odin’s ravens?”

“Oh yeah, that--totes awesome, no kidding, would love to crash that party, but no, Max’s convoy of Hummers got careless. Their coder threw out some old SHIELD coding associated with that guy they put on trial for treason, Alexander Pierce. He had all kinds of ties with Hydra, right, not just the old one but the neoHydra groups. The loaner guys from General Ross’s hackers keep using neoHydra codes.”

“Yeah?” Steve says.

“Yeah, so I used their stuff, got into some new SHIELD surveillance files. I figured out what Max’s bunch might be unloading from the warehouse. That goes back to Russian Red Room files. Some kind of capsule in a Russian packing crate. The crate’s labeling in Cyrillic goes back to captured files on the Winter Soldier. You know anything about that?”

**Author's Note:**

> I have to promise that this isn't the end of the show, it's more on the order of a promissory note on future chapters to come.  
> I do hope you'll enjoy the ride.
> 
> Actually complicated series-posting position-swapping stuff means the next bit is elsewhere, here.  
> ["Lullaby"](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4601178/chapters/10484583)  
> ["Not Quite Götterdämmerung"](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3203072)  
> Which is followed by another chapter  
> ["When Norse Gods Meddle Part 1B"](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4601178/chapters/10484583)  
> 


End file.
